“These things are so freaking awesome!” said no one… except, of course, none other than the Baby Boomers. Sincerest apologies to our preceding generation, but their things weren’t ever ‘in,’ even when they were. The sooner these epic fails in society are left in the past where they belong, the better the future will be for the following generations. This is indeed a hard-to-swallow pill to the Boomers and will definitely erect a rise out of our grandmas and grandpas for our ‘ungrateful millennial/Gen Z attitudes, but at its core, these things were always useless and bad. Without further adieu, let’s dive into all these irrelevant, absurd, outdated, and frankly strange things and trends that came from the generation of our beloved Baby Boomer generation!
Cursive Writing
One of the most irrelevant things I ever remember learning in elementary school was cursive writing, considering it just made our handwriting atrocious and took precious time from our classes in which we could be learning other important things (women’s rights movement, anyone? Too liberal?) and at its core, is nothing more than a waste of teachers, students, and parents time, and looking back, it never taught us anything for how to survive in today’s world.
Cursive Writing
Fine China
There is nothing that collects more dust, takes up more space, and gives more anxiety when it’s actually used than fine china. Honestly, why do you have them, if not to use them, and besides, have you seen them? Fine China is ugly and is frequently used as props in pop culture to depict something old, outdated and stuck in the past. Besides, if they’ve never used, you barely know you have them, except of course, when the time comes to clean them, or when you get a panic attack after breaking one of them.
Fine China
24/7 News Airings
Twitter is more reliable than these 24-Hour so-called “News” Networks. More often than not, the network jumps to conclusions and exaggerates the truth to be able to make a simple story a good story or to make important stories irrelevant to suit their own selfish needs. Imagine having to anchor news all day, every day. It honestly gets boring, because there aren’t enough truly newsworthy happenings to actually report on all day, which is why the networks use methods like sensationalism and fear to keep an audience.
24 7 News Airings
Diamonds
African slaves serve a failing capitalistic society’s need for more and more money, but hey, it’s a material world! Diamonds are really very expensive, and honestly, at its core, it’s a shiny lump of coal that’s been under a lot of pressure (sounds like a millennial). There are a lot of less-expensive options with more variety, such as cubic zirconia, and with the lower price tag and the morally acceptable ways it’s created, it’s worth being called cheap by the rich wives at the country club.
Diamonds
Patterned And Textured Wallpaper
Patterned wallpaper. Let that sink in. Why is it there, who had the bright idea, and why didn’t anyone stop them. It’s very cringy to have in your home and very loud (my head hurts looking at it), and also is associated with being old and outdated. Honestly, why would you make your life that hard by smoothing all the air bubbles and wrinkles out? Just go pick a paint colour and paint the room, it’ll look better, and more importantly, it won’t start peeling off on humid days!
Patterned And Textured Wallpaper
Internships, For No-Pay
Why is this even still a thing? How are these intern’s expected to pay their bills and sustain themselves while working themselves to death for literally nothing? Employers would say that these interns are learning valuable lessons and you can’t put a price on learning. Well, guess what, the price is a living wage, and the only lesson they’re learning is society expects nothing for everything and their wellbeing doesn’t matter, just as long as the system works…
Internships For No Pay
Crocs
No. Just no. This questionable footwear first appeared to hurt our eyes and self-respect back in 2002, became a hit in the US for its convenience, durability, and comfort. Well, guess what, uncle Pete? Your crocs may make you more comfortable, but they make us less satisfied. Crocs are one of the worst mistakes that fashion has ever made, and honestly, if you own a pair, just kill it. Kill it with fire, sell the house and move to Japan.
Crocs
Hating On Millennials
If I had a nickel for every time a Baby Boomer called a millennial or gen Z a “whiny snowflake” I’d have enough money to fix the economy they ruined. Boomers love to blame everything wrong with the world on the later generations, purely because the majority of them refuse to accept change. They fail to realise that when they point one finger, the rest point back to them. Boomers are the real “snowflakes” because they’re the ones that can’t accept their mistakes and get offended when they’re pointed out. But no, it’s the kids of today’s fault.
Hating On Millennials
Home Shopping Channels
A whole channel dedicated to home shopping sounds strange right, well it’s actually just a way to sell cheap things to unsuspecting people that believe everything they see on television. Nothing my grandparents ever bought on there worked longer than a week, if at all. There are so many more reliable online services or physical stores to get your home goods, which also works out cheaper for the consumer by cutting out the guy in the middle.
Home Shopping Channels
High-Waisted, Ill-Fitting Jeans
That’s it, I’m pants shaming! These high waisted jeans aren’t just unflattering to the figure, they also make uncomforting wrinkles and shapes in strange places, thus altering the proportions and shape of a body, and not for the better. I can see the effort that was made in their design, but the final product was disappointing, to say the least, and made their wearers look out of proportion and aged them terribly fast when paired with a tucked-in button-up blouse and bob haircut.
High Waisted Ill Fitting Jeans
The Concept Of Cheques
Sure I get the novelty of writing a check to pay for your items, the feeling of having money by carrying a big chequebook around (even when you’re broke), but it’s become quite irrelevant with the invention of credit and debit cards, and now the pink smiley face covered checks in the chequebook seems to be more tacky than flashy, and it doesn’t always work in every situation. Can you imagine cashing in your inheritance from a late loved one with a check smothered in smiley faces and rainbows?
The Concept Of Cheques
Home Phones
Landlines used to be a staple in every home, back before one could simply carry the entire phone with you in your pocket, but recently they’ve become irrelevant, even if they’re free now. It’s much more convenient to just get your own phone and use that. Landlines crawled so Nokia’s could walk, and then the smartphones trampled them both. Best to get with the times and leave the landlines in the past. RIP, probably won’t be missed.
Home Phones
Exploiting The Use Of Fossil Fuels
If Fossil Fuels aren’t extinguished soon there won’t be a world to live in, and the boomers that invented it are rolling in the dough and the idea that they won’t live long enough to see the outcome of their greed. And it seems an absurd idea to them to invest in environmentally friendly ways to produce energy because they get their money from destroying the ozone layer, oh and wind power apparently causes bird cancer. Okay, Boomer.
Exploiting The Use Of Fossil Fuels
Going To The Mall
A massive building with hundreds of shops, big and small where hundreds of people congregate to do their shopping, sounds like an introvert’s nightmare, and in today’s day and age, it’s very irrelevant. It’s much easier when you can just open your phone or computer and have all your shopping delivered direct to your doorstep, and with many apps surfacing that ease the shopping experience, it just makes getting that cool pair of shoes a lot better for everyone.
Going To The Mall
Khaki Capri Pants
Khaki, not a flattering color already. Capri pants, a very awkward-looking thing. Put them together and you have the crocs’ less ugly but still ugly cousin, Khaki Capri Pants! They truly look bad on everyone and so far they’ve taught us that just like crocs, just because it’s comfortable for you, doesn’t mean it’s comfortable for everyone else to look at, and they belong to little use to the fashion-conscious person, other than maybe a floor rag.
Khaki Capri Pants
Denim
Denim changed the world of fashion for the better, but there are a few exceptions (we’re looking at you, high waisted jeans!) Wearing denim all over your body was, and for some still is, a big trend, and we’re here to tell you to stop, and get some help. It’s not it, and it hasn’t been it, so don’t do it. It makes a person look tacky and draws too much attention, and not in a good way!
Denim
Jell-O Things
Ham is amazing! Cheese is amazing! The tuna is amazing! Ham, cheese and tuna made into Jell-O are borderline psychopathic. Why the 70s were so obsessed with gelatin, and more frightening, putting literally everything into gelatin, we don’t know, and frankly, we don’t want to know. We just want to forget about it, and go to therapy. The 70s was a great time, but this was a very low point in world history, butter left forgotten.
Jell O Things
Encyclopedias
Encyclopedias are a necessity in any of our grandparents’ homes, mostly because in their time, it was their only source of information. In today’s time, we have a variety of search engines on the internet, and with this information superhighway, hard copies of information have become irrelevant. Having them in your home basically means it’s just another thing to clean and never use, so there isn’t really a point to it anymore, other than if you’re a collector or a technophobe.
Encyclopedias
Socks And Sandals
White ankle socks are a questionable fashion choice already, but slapping a sandal on underneath them is an offense. If you think about the purpose of sandals, wearing socks kind of misses the point, and isn’t it uncomfortable having the sandal strap slip between your toes with socks on? Think about it, that sounds horribly irritating. Please stop, just stop. It looks untidy and honestly makes no sense, if you really want to cover your feet, just wear a regular shoe like everyone else.
Socks And Sandals
Phone Books
Who still has a phone book? Okay, who uses it for more than a paperweight or deadly weapon? Exactly. I’m a modern world they’ve become irrelevant, with our friends and families numbers saved on our smartphones we don’t need to look them up or memorize them, and if you’re looking for a specific person, there are multiple online platforms to contact them on that doesn’t require a phone number, and if you’re looking for a business, they’re contact details are but a Google search away. You can of course still get a phone book if you really want to, if someone ever breaks into your house, these yellow page bricks can be a great defense mechanism when thrown or swung.
Phone Books
Shaggy Carpets
When you need to brush your carpet more than your hair, it’s probably a sign to get a different carpet, or even better, just get tile or wood flooring for a sleek modern look, that also happens to be easier to clean. Having a shag carpet in your home basically says your home hasn’t been updated since the 1960s, or you simply have no taste. This carpeting feels weird and is a monster to maintain and keep clean, and is another example of Baby Boomers making everyone’s lives unnecessarily difficult.
Shaggy Carpets
Visor Hat Things
Headwear can make or break any look, and on warm summer days at the beach or park, can protect one’s face and neck from the unforgiving sun, however, a visor makes no sense. A visor is basically headbands and baseball caps love child made of plastic, and we think they should’ve divorced before this monster was made. Nothing days snobby, mean and ridiculously wealthy like a visor, they also say tacky, unnecessary and fragile. Seriously Boomers, just go get a normal hat, there are some really good ones out there, why are you wearing a visor.
Visor Hat Things
Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers
I just talked about the cons of shag carpeting, so why not just slap it onto a toilet seat, sounds smart, right? I never understood this tacky trend. How do you keep it soft? What happens if you mess on it? Why is this considered cute when it’s really not? These strange covers provide us with more questions than answers, and remember how shag carpet feels? You do! Imagine sitting on it with your bare butt. Excuse me while I go rethink Boomer’s life choices.
Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers
Records
I don’t really have anything bad to say about vinyl records except that they’re outdated, fragile and massive. Sure they take up space and if you’re not careful, they’ll be shattered, but one can’t deny the sound quality of a record, and the fancy vintage feels you get when you play one on one of those cool record players you got at Target. The Baby Boomers may have destroyed the ozone layer, but they also made vinyl, so thanks, I guess.
Records
Jeans That Don’t Really Fit
I don’t get this generation’s war against skinny jeans, it’s very practical if you think about it. Jeans that perfectly fit the shape of the wearers’ legs and hips in a flattering way, stretch enough to be comfortable to do almost anything with, and if you really want to be fashionable and get a rise out of the boomers, show some skin and get you some holey jeans! The Boomers prefer to stick to their flared bell-bottom jeans that get filthy in the rain and make them look bulky, and honestly, let them. There are not enough bell-bottoms in the world to punish them for modern society.
Jeans That Dont Really Fit
The Concept Of Ironing
Ironing. Seriously, what’s the point. No one likes it, no one wants to do it, and it seems a tedious practice considering your clothes are going to wrinkle either way. No one really cares for a small crease if it’s not that bad, and if it’s really that bad, just give it a quick run through the dryer and wear it. I agree an outfit with no creases or wrinkles looks tidy, but at the same time, it makes people look like they have very little social life to spend hours ironing their whole wardrobe, or they have someone to do it for them.
The Concept Of Ironing
Bar Soap
Let’s use a single bar to clean our entire body repeatedly, not considering that the bar picks up all our filth and is a safety hazard when dropped and slipped on in the shower. Liquid soap is a good alternative and has more coverage and washes away with the water. It’s quite ironic that the Baby Boomers insist on bar soap when they are at the most risk of hurting themselves with it, but we’re the snowflake and you lost a war with soap.
Bar Soap
Meatloaf
Unless you’re talking about the singer, we have no time for a meatloaf. Ground meat and other ingredients shaped into a loaf shape and smoked sounds like a tedious process and it taste interesting, to say the least. It’s much easier to just cook the mince and other ingredients and eat that than to make it into a loaf. There is no amount of ketchup in the world to make meatloaf a reasonable and tasty dish, so let’s just stop.
Meatloaf
Patterned Vests
Nothing says “old man” like a vest with a fun pattern! Bonus points if the vest is dark blue, green or yellow. They’re very unflattering to the shape and vests overall aren’t something you need in your wardrobe. These sleeveless monstrosities don’t keep you warm or look good and have no practical purpose other than to show the world how old you are and how much you want the neighbourhood kids off your damn lawn.
Patterned Vests
Cop Dramas
Why are there so many cop shows? Like we get it, people get murdered and it’s a horrible thing, but do we need over 20 Law & Orders to glorify this tragic crime for nothing more than entertainment? Cop dramas are, however, at its core, a staple in society and we can’t imagine a world without our grandma’s frantic obsession with over 10 seasons of Criminal Minds, or our aunt questioning her sexuality after bingeing Rizzoli & Isles.
Cop Dramas
Alex Jones
Radio host, Alex Jones is considered America’s Leading Conspiracy Theorist, and is definitely not a relevant source of news, as he rarely provides sources for his ridiculous conspiracy theories, and if one of your least far fetched and most believable stories is about water making frogs gay, you’re absolutely insane. Boomers however believe most everything of what this absolute lunatic has to say. Because of their inherent “It’s on the radio, it must be true.” nature.
Alex Jones
Mrs Dash
Mrs Dash is a must-have in any Baby Boomers spice rack, mostly because it’s usually the only spice they use on just about everything. We’re not saying it’s good, just stating facts. I consider trying out a different variety of herbs and spices, maybe finish a dish off with a sprinkle of parsley, just no more Mrs Dash. The stores have such a massive selection, it’s not like the Boomers are pressed for options. Mrs Dash should probably meet Tony Chachere.
Mrs Dash
Political Correctness
What was that? Treat everyone with common decency and respect even if they don’t conform to exactly what we want them to to the letter? Absolutely absurd! Probably another fake thing made up by the youngsters of today to confuse us. Liberals ruin everything! Being politically correct is outdated, honestly just respect everyone how they deserve to be respected, using a preferred pronoun won’t end the world, Brenda. Who knows, maybe they’ll actually respect you in return?!
Political Correctness
Linoleum Flooring
A thin piece of plastic stuck on an already perfectly good floor. Sounds good. Linoleum doesn’t look as good in the long run as it does the first few weeks and when it starts peeling it looks absolutely horrid. Linoleum is a good example of Boomer culture. Good effort, but bad follow-through. It’s a lot better to just put some wood or tile down, it lasts longer and looks better, and is easier to clean.
Linoleum Flooring
Conspiracy Theories
Conspiracy Theories are so rooted in Boomer culture that it’s funny, and most news outlets are chock full of made-up stories, lies and conspiracies. Fox News is such an untrustworthy source and exists purely to entertain radical Boomers theories that the earth is flat or that wind power makes people gay. The idea of an actual news outlet reporting on conspiracy theories as if they were facts is a truly terrifying idea and thank God millennials aren’t stupid enough to believe them.
Conspiracy Theories
Avon
Avon salespeople are the personification of annoyance. Their representatives hassle everyone to buy their products and often ruin friendships. Besides, Avon is basically a pyramid scheme that convinced people that they’re business owners when in fact they’re just pawns that don’t get anything in return for selling cheap and untrustworthy products for twice they’re worth. Avon is Jehova’s witnesses of cosmetics, and they should be banned for the main reason that they’re scammers that are being scammed by bigger scammers and they’re really really annoying!
Avon
Gendered Everything
Don’t even get me started on the pointless gendering of colors, toys, clothes and behaviors. Gender is a social construct and the sooner we teach kids that they can like whatever they want the better the world is going to be. We should stop enforcing the idea that boys should wear blue and play with cars and girls should wear pink and play with dolls, because it’s just a color, and it’s just a toy. Gender roles are one of the worst things the Boomers groomed and seriously, just stop.
Gendered Everything
Golf
Golf is a painful thing to watch because it’s hard to not fall asleep during a game. It’s way too complicated for such a long and boring sport and usually is associated with uptight, old and high class, it’s basically a less fun version of croquet that requires absolutely no training or skill to be in. The only one having fun is the person playing, and it serves no purpose to society other than making people look stuffy.
Golf
Too Many Scatter Cushions
Throw pillows can really tie a room together if placed properly, but not if there are so many pillows that you can’t see the couch underneath it. It becomes uncomfortable and starts looking tacky when they take up that much space, even more so when they are a variety of colors and shapes and sizes, a room that’s too loud can tend to make the room feel smaller than it is and can irritate a person.
Too Many Scatter Cushions
Treating Service Staff Like Slaves
There is nothing that says “I think I’m better than you and have no respect for any human being other than myself” than treating retail workers badly. They’re just trying to make a living and they don’t need you crying for a manager about a coupon that expired two days ago. Just accept defeat and leave, trust me, they won’t miss your business, and frankly, they don’t want it. Look at it logically, when a child has a tantrum in the store, the kid only really embarrasses themselves and they still don’t get what they want. The same should count for adults throwing a tantrum in a restaurant. You asked for extra cheese, you should be prepared to pay for extra cheese, Boomers insisted on capitalism, yet they don’t want to follow it.
Treating Service Staff Like Slaves
‘I Love Lucy’
Lucille Ball is an iconic actress from the 50s with her even more iconic leading role in “I Love Lucy” where she portrays a ditsy housewife that gets into all kinds of shenanigans and situations. However, the idea of the show was good for its time and remains iconic, it’s considered very outdated today, now that gender roles are being abolished and homemakers are becoming less common, modern audiences struggle to understand the premise of the show, so best admire the art, but leave it in the past.
I Love Lucy
Witnessing The ‘Miracle On Ice’
The “Miracle on Ice” was an ice hockey game during the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, New York. It was played between the hosting United States and the Soviet Union. Though the Soviet Union was a four-time defending gold medalist and heavily favored, the United States upset them and won 4–3. In today’s time, where the feud between Russia and the USA isn’t as prevalent this game seems to be somewhat irrelevant to the audiences of today, despite the 2004 Disney Movie trying to recap it.
Witnessing The Miracle On Ice
Electronic Calculator Amusement
The idea of a calculator is such a common thing now because it’s an application that just comes with every single smartphone, however, boomers seem to still see Calculators as luxuries or a sign of someone’s lack of intelligence. Well, I’ll be damned if I had to do my taxes without my calculator, so take that. Calculators are such a necessity in today’s time, and we can’t imagine our lives without them now.
Electronic Calculator Amusement
Howdy Doody Dolls
Say it with me kids! Howdy Doody is creepy! This doll was a common thing in the average 1950s household after its television debut on NBC’s Puppet Playhouse. This doll captured the heart of children everywhere at the time but today with the new quality and look of dolls we can’t help but notice that it was ugly and scary and would probably give children nightmares. Its merchandise is considered collector’s items today, but we still think this doll belongs in that class case with Annabelle.
Howdy Doody Dolls
Reader’s Digest
Reader’s Digest is an American general-interest family magazine, published 10 times a year. This series provides a lot of useless but interesting information, which is why Boomers enjoy it so much, it’s been around for as long as anyone can remember, and even though it’s not proven factual, everyone believes the contents in these books, and we don’t see a world without them, but I doubt we’d miss them if they happen to vanish one day.
Readers Digest
Dialling A Rotary Phone
Dialing a number on a rotary phone is a mission in itself, and thank goodness we don’t have to go through this process again in the near future. No one thought of just using buttons back then? While no one that exists beyond the boomer generation will ever understand the fascination with rotary phones, we could assume that the simple technology was more than enough to amuse the simple minds of the boomer generation, considering technology was so very limited back then.
Dialling A Rotary Phone
Smoking On Airplanes
No one can really be sure why smoking on planes was ever a thing, although back in the day it was common for smokers to indulge in a nicotine stick wherever they were. There is even evidence to suggest that doctors back then approved smoking as a healthy habit. Apparently, it was common practice before the 90s no one clocked that it would interfere with the plane’s lifespan before that. I want to know if smoking in a closed-off room for years ruins the ceiling and walls, why did no one think it would do the same on an aircraft? Boomers, we need answers!
Smoking On Airplanes
TV Dinners
The TV Dinners originally sold for 89 cents and included turkey, gravy, cornbread, dressing, whipped sweet potatoes and peas. An easy way to have a full meal without cooking. Today however we have a massive variety of takeout places to choose from, so these dinners are considered obsolete now. TV dinners are considered disgusting these days as an even wider variety of frozen foods has recently been shunned by younger generations and for good reason. Frozen foods are overly processed, poor tasting, and extremely unhealthy.
TV Dinners
The Milkman
Bet you thought the milkman was only a joke in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Once every household in America received their milk for free daily from a small truck that drove around, today only certain people still make use of such services, and milk doesn’t really have its own exclusive truck now. No one these days will ever understand the concept of waiting for the milkman. Thankfully, we purchase milk in a more modern fashion these days.
The Milkman
TV Time Is Over
At one stage channels used to sing the National Anthem and switch off services for the evening, leaving nothing but snow and static on the country’s television screens. Today we’re used to all the channels running at least something for 24 hours of the day, so the idea that a whole channel can just switch off is a foreign concept. Thankfully, TV time never ends these days and there are practically no channels left that sign off at any certain time.
TV Time Is Over